Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Almost springtime. WInd waves and maybe my kid will love to kite....

It's that time of the year when clearing winds hit the Malibu Coast in concert with W swells. Ok,maybe it's a little early to call it spring. There have been some "spring like" surf with wind days. Friends called in quite a few epic days up north and I was able to ride a few of them. Malibu gets more thermal days during the summer but north of town if far better during the winter months. It's all about being able to drop what you are doing and bolt up there at a moments notice. Dropping everything and bolting for sports isn't easy. It's usually something for the independently wealthy, married with understanding wife, without children or with a full time nanny option. With parents juggling three or four jobs each, with a stoked 4yo bouncing off the wall and no nanny, spontaneity for adrenaline sports evaporates. But, it evaporates in a good way. You're mind copes by visualizing your kid out there doing all the things you are crazy about. He's out there kitesurfing, surfing, mountain biking, paragliding, etc. Vicarious kitesurf thrills from friends phone calls helps. Envisioning your kid doing all the fun stuff with you makes the wait for the next session endurable. My dream begins with my wife, son and myself all shredding long downwinders in the Baja or some tropical islands surf. I's not that far fetched. I know at least one dad who pulled it off. He is being chased by the IRS but he's living the dream and his family like their new false identities. We have been putting our son on the front of the stand up paddle board, boogie board and in a trailer behind the mountain bike since he was able to think, "do they think I enjoy this?" The hard part is not pushing the little guy (now 4 and a half) too hard towards what we want him to do in sports and getting the converse of our wishes. A kid who thinks walking with golf clubs makes golf an extreme sport and that all adrenaline sports should be avoided like the seat of a 125 degree outhouse seat at Lake Mohave. It's the fine line between letting him see how cool your sport is, and pushing too hard. You don't want him to becomes s green polyester pants golf cart marshmallow man, axle deep in a sand trap. Nothing against golf. It's great there's a sport for every Neman Marcus shopper. I intend to golf allot when I'm dead. For now, a couple of T times a year, when there is absolutely nothing else to do is plenty. Did I mention, nothing else to do? I occasionally hit the links, just to be sure that nothing exciting been added to the game in my absence. Nope, Tiger Woods' shenanigans were the highlight of the last hundred years off putter stroking. They still follow a small ball around and around, and around and then hit it with a stick. It's not even that wave sailing huge surf is that much better. Errrr, well yes it is. Even mowing the lawn back in forth with no surf in bugger all wind on lake mud puddle is more fun. It was nice to see Gabby R proving a gifted athlete could get very good very quickly, till terminal boredom sets in. Gabby's husband Laird Hamilton, ever the innovator, developed an electric golf skate board to add some forward momentum to the game. Think, a very short polo pony with wheels for the Thurston Howell the third type. Go Laird!! Great idea; wrong demographic. An average out of shape golfer must keep his mouth open while boasting about his new Bentley and would ingest a few pounds of designer country club insects if traveling at 20 mph on a skateboard. He will have to balance on the skate board while wearing clown shoes with spikes and swinging a 500 dollar club at tiny plastic balls. Let's face it. Most of these guys just think a skateboard is something not allowed where he has his help shop for him. There might be a couple of not quite country club courses where electric golf skates would be acceptable. Century city three par and carpet outlet has a narrow demographic of ex Dogtown guys in Bermuda shorts and bathroom slippers sharing the golf course with the homeless in the bushes. The only pro that might be attracted would be Tiger Woods. Budshweiter and red phull will generously sponsor any sport with overdone babes wearing over tight clothes in proximity to cold water. In this case golf course water traps, which will be filled with beer and underwater cameras. So we have a re-invented Tiger and his wet clothed bimbos on the back of an electric golf skate being chased across the greens by the babes' angry 30 year older significant others/ sugar daddies in golf carts. It would make for great theatre and a reason to watch golf on TV. The side of the circling FOX TV seudo news blimp would read "OJ chase 2015" on the light boards. The shows cable ratings in Texas would go through the roof. It would be a 1980s ZZ top video equivalent on well manicured grass. My son will see this on the Mickey Channel between Doc McStuffbuns and Princess Hobag, and think, "THIS IS THE GREATEST SPORT YET and dad has been keeping me from it" So, irregardless of how cool I think a sport is or is not (not actually classifying golf as a sport. Mr Webster might have listed it as a drunken retirement home game played outdoors post anesthesia), the boy will do whatever he pleases. Most likely, my son will take the advice of some used golf cart salesman over his old mans'. Hopefully at least my sons' golf cart will have surf racks and and an athletic, intelligent unmarried gal with a sense of humor next to him. This will force me to eat my words and golf more frequently prior to doing the dirt dance. It will be a way to share more time with my son and warn him away from the attractive from a distance girls standing waist deep in the third greens water trap alongside the half sunken black mercedes with the privileged pinheads license plate rim. Being a dad isn't easy but fun sports help loads. PS. All sports are cool. Some are just cooler than others to some of us semi advanced primates.hhwXgQVejIw/VO6V3WrLVqI/AAAAAAAABCs/ELALbZOuxAM/s320/20141224_134329.jpg" />


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